The free glass of water pandemic

I’m thirsty.  All that I want is a damn glass of water.  I’ll pay you even.

Why is it that every single time I go through a drive thru and ask for a glass of water, I get stares and whispering.  It’s almost akin to the bandit who walks into a saloon in the old west – everyone’s haveing a great time, music’s playing and then here comes Mr. Badass.  The music stops and everyone’s quiet.  I order a water and people look at me like I must have made some sort of mistake.

I do not drink soft drinks, pop, soda, whatever you call it.  I drink water, coffee, juice and beer.  That’s it.  So when I go to get some dinner, I order a LARGE glass of water with my meal.  I usually just ask for a glass not a bottle.  They say the same thing everytime, “Sir, our water only comes in a small.”  And then I patiently say, “Well, I will pay extra for a large.”  There’s usually a small pause.  Probably consulting with the brightest of their lot.  And then the most ridiculous thing they could ever say follows the silence, “Sir, since you have to pay full price anyway, do you just want to get a Pepsi or something?” I either get this scenario or this one.  I ask for a large water and they give me a small.  No questions, nothing.  I then repeat that I asked for a large.  Then it picks up from where the silence left off from scenario one.  Every single time, it never fails.

Here’s my message for all you customer service types running the drivethru:

I’m not drinking water to save a buck.  I’m not a cheap bastard.  Thank you for thinking that, however.  I know that this is hard to believe, but I actually prefer the freshness of water over the empty calories of your over-syruped beverage you call a refreshment.  So, just give me my large water.  And yes, I know it costs the same as a regular soft drink.  That’s fine, spare me.

About Lyn May

Designer, engineer, producer; I haven't really decided yet. Maybe I'll keep it that way - it's much easier to be undecided any way. I love graphic design, writing, photography, video production, animation, playing guitar, singing, engineering and pretty much any other medium that allows me to express my self artistically/logically.

Posted on May 14, 2011, in Business, Lifestyle and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Yea, this is funny and true. Apparently you’ve stepped outside the boundaries of good taste and common sensibility(so they would have you believe).

    I actually find this incredibly funny because it’s taken with such seriousness by the food joints.

    I can just see them in the background going, “Who makes our water? Who supplies our water? Isn’t that made with two parts oxygen and one part hydrogen, or something like that? YOU KNOW IF EVERYBODY ASKED FOR WATER WE WOULD SOON BE OUT OF BUSINESS.”

    You are obviously someone to be reckoned with! Like Lenin, Marx, Che and Abbie Hoffman. Who have thought it, a radical right on our very own street. Thanks for more eye-opening reality.

  2. You should get your glass of water without the put downs. I am on your side here. For the record, I hate water and drink soft drinks juice or coffee exclusively but thats just me.


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